This weekend was rough. Tyler was away on his golf trip, we had to leave the lake and a birthday party early because Claire was fussing and miserable. 

I feel older after a weekend like this one. 

Claire and I have been having a bit of a tough time lately. She's cranky for a few hours a day, I can't console her. 

I realized that I stopped following her cues, she didn't stop giving them. In the hustle and bustle of being here, going there, doing this, I stopped listening to her. 

We've had such an amazing day so far. I wish I could freeze it in time. She signed when she was all done breakfast. She let me know when she wanted to snuggle and nurse. It was clear when it was nap time. She pointed to the books she wanted to read. 

What a smart little girl she is. I'm trying not to get caught up in the "if only's" of the hours and days we wasted being mad at each other, but rather move forward and really listen. Be more present and watch for her cues. 

Today Claire started saying "Dada" and we had to lower her crib mattress to the lowest setting. 

Where has my baby gone??

Operation "Claire's Birthday Present" has commenced. 

The hardware is sprayed. Now to stain the countertop, assemble, paint the birch parts white and choose a backsplash. 

Andddd I just remembered something I forgot to spraypaint. Shit. 

When I put Claire down for a nap, I will put her in her sleep sack, read a story and then give her a hug and kiss her sweet cheeks and tell her I love her and to have a good nap. 

Lately, she's been hugging back and giving me a kiss before I let her go. She's the sweetest little thing. How can that not make your day?

Claire's personality has really emerged in the last few weeks. She's always been sweet and curious, but lately she's also been very snuggly and loving. She loves doling out hugs and kisses. We snuggles while she nursed and watched Sesame Street this morning and I couldn't help but think "Ahhhhh. This is what it's all about."

She's also quite possibly the biggest ham in history. She gives this HUGE cheesy, nose crinkled, eyes closed because she's smiling so hard grin to make us laugh. It's the sweetest thing ever. Here's a picture of a small one:

Today I arranged for Claire's transition to day care, bought her first birthday present, and cried my eyes out for an hour afterwards.

How is this happening so soon?! She was just born!